Geometry for Ocelots by Exurb1a

Author:Exurb1a [Exurb1a]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cosmia Press
Published: 2021-05-31T04:00:00+00:00

25.

Leo looked out beyond the window for anything that was him and saw nothing that was him.

Maybe a long time from now some of this world would get in through his ears, through his eyes, and he would become of this world, would speak its language, would enjoy its food. And then this world would not have changed one leaf, not one pebble, but a new Leo would sit in this Leo’s place. Perhaps stronger, perhaps not.

Older, at least.

I am alone, he thought. There is no one left in all of time and space who will love me without conditions. I must go into every battle as an army of one, if I choose to still fight.

Everything is prickles and barbs. Or worse, no prickles and barbs, but grey. Unceasing, ever duller grey; living as a miraculous animal and feeling nothing; living as a king here perhaps, and feeling nothing. I was ugly before, but loved. Now I’m just ugly.

He looked to his mother’s purple sunset.

If I stay on this world, every evening I will see that sunset and miss you. I will become a machine with the sole purpose of missing you.

He finished the vodka. He took the crumpled parchment from his pocket, put the ultraviolet lens to it—his mother’s unmistakable handwriting still waiting there. His tears had wrecked the text, but he knew the spoiled words from memory.

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